Choices


Here is a snapshot that represents the course my life has taken:

You may think that this is just a nice family picture in just another creative pose, but there is more to this than meets the eye if we compare it to life in general.

First, we are zig-zagging, you get it. 🙂

Second, at the time Melissa (the vivacous girl in the very front) was born, the way I felt inside, she has expressed just masterfully.  To explain, among other things, Christine, the next oldest, was 2 years old and I found myself constantly frustrated with her unique (for my family, anyway) curiosity!  I felt completely lost as to how to maintain a patient attitude and a warm and natural love for her.  If I hadn’t let my Savior make a remarkable change in my attitude at that point, thanks be to Him, I think I would be an angry person today.  I realized that I wasn’t going to change her nature and that I had to allow for it in my house and in my heart!  I really needed that!  Thanks, Christine, for asking that of me!

My 30-year old, beautiful friend, who is my Primary president (I’m her second counselor), asked me how I felt about being married so young.  I told her that I love that I have 5 kids now, and knew it was what I wanted all the while, but that for the first five years probably I allowed much too much contention.  I wish that could have been different.  I felt happy for the most part and able to unwind at the end of each day, but didn’t “address my stress” during the day very well!  Now, did I need to just jump in the fray and learn as I go, as I was taught to growing up?  What about how I didn’t know much about what I was doing?

My friend feels like she needed the first several years of her marriage to get some things out of her system–some selfishness, according to her, before she became a mother. Now I see her as a mother and I feel that the competence she’s gained over these last years in a more professional world has helped her approach motherhood in a very aware way.

Whatever we have chosen, I feel that there are mercies that come from the Lord (part of the law of opposition)! I thank Him for the positives in every situation!  Even if we have certain regrets (mine include contention), I am just really glad that we get to choose in the first place so that it holds meaning to us once we have it.  We would never feel the need to change our course if we didn’t know with a surety that our actions got us to where we are.

Motherhood: And now thanks must go out to all who have been apart of me choosing to become a mother early and often!  I adore my children, what I’ve learned, and what my future looks like!  My own mother and dad: Hoorah!  My husband’s parents: Bravo!  My undaunted husband, Scott: Wow!  My brave older sister, Jenny!  Whoo-whoo!  And Heavenly Father’s teachings!  Halleluiah!  Go, mothers!

Now, let’s go and get last night’s dinner unstuck from the floor and go to sleep tonight knowing that we are too blessed to be stressed!  Go to it, soldiers!  Love ya!

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Scott and I watched Gov. (of Alaska) Sarah Palin accept John McCain’s invitation to run as vice president this morning.  She has everything, it seems, that will help him win!  I love how much I feel like I can relate to her.  Mom of 5, “regular” person, athlete.  Scratch that last one and….wait, maybe that’s all I relate to, but I still like her!

You know how moms are “supposed” to stay home with their kids?  Don’t think I am second-guessing myself as a stay-at-home mom, but I find myself very impressed and confused at the same time when I encounter someone like Sarah Palin or Hillary Weeks, say.  I want to be them, in other words achieve amazing things that reach a lot of people, but then I realize the two choices aren’t compatible.   But could they be?  Therein lies the confusion.  I also don’t want to be so extreme to think that very-involved women are either good or bad, because sometime I do that to people.

The verse in the Doctrine and Covenants 58 about being “anxiously engaged in a good cause” also says later that “inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward.”  I think this could mean that we all have sins and make weak, poor, or even bad choices (take the founding fathers or other people who made a huge difference in the world but were scoundrels in some way), but by the Lord’s grace if we “do good,” and of course acknowledge our Saviour, we won’t lose our reward.

Maybe we’re ok as stay-at-home moms to stretch ourselves and touch the community in some way if we feel we want to!